Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Houston, we have a blender
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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