Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
