i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize