I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
