Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
