If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
