just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize