when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
