It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
