Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
