Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
