just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
