So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
