i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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