The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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