Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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