There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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