So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize