I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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