i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
