all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
