the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize