Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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