Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
