he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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