Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
