I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
