That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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