I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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