whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
