He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
50% drunk capacity currently
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
