I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize