Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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