We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
did i walk over a car last night?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
