VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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