They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
