found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
