can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
