I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
