Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
