I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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