do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
