Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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