no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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