Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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