Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
