Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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