actually, I'm a sock model
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
