we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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