dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
wow bdsm is so cute
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