Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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