You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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