the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
