I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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