does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
