i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i out mim tonsoeep
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