pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
