dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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