Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize