your parents love me but you hate me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
